Earlier this week a massage therapist lamented to me about a weekly professional development meeting she attends. The group gathers to share business development ideas and updates on research and best practices.
“There is one person in the group who drives me crazy! Just as we’re closing the meeting, he has a last question or comment. And it’s usually about a different topic. Most of us can just say, ‘Hey, I have to go. I have a client in 10 minutes.’ But I feel bad for our group leader.”
Have you ever been there? You’re just about ready to conclude a meeting, and someone brings up a topic that requires a lengthy response. Regardless of whether the topic is related to the agenda or not, the meeting is wrapping up. Everyone is shifting gears to what’s next on their calendar.
Just last week
Here’s something I experienced last week during a webinar on marketing.
The facilitator asked each participant to say something about why they had registered for the webinar and what they hoped to get from the session.
One of the participants provided some context for his goal. He briefly described a larger problem that his business was facing. (Let’s call this participant, Participant A.) What he shared was appropriate and brief. It gave everyone some context for his goal for this one-hour webinar.
Immediately after Participant A spoke, another person in the group (Participant B) spoke directly to Participant A. “My hospital has had that same problem. Have you tried to…” And off she went giving advice.
The rest of us sat in our little Zoom tiles while Participant B offered unsolicited advice to Participant A. Her suggestions had nothing to do with the webinar content.
When I realized what was happening, I wrote in the chat, “I suggest that A and B talk offline about this matter, so we can focus on the marketing topic.”
The facilitator made that very statement. Did he read my comment, or had he already made his decision? I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter. We moved forward and got to the content.
Four steps
These two incidents reminded me that there are four steps to take when someone in the group begins to muddle the meeting.
- Acknowledge. No one likes to be called out in front of others. So, acknowledge the person. Acknowledge the question or the idea. For example, the meeting facilitator of the massage therapy group could say, “Jan, that’s a good question. We’ll put that first on next week’s agenda.” OR, “You’ve raised a good point, Levi. Let’s talk about that in our FaceBook group.”
- Redirect. After acknowledging the person and their question or comment, make a statement about how and when you will address the matter. For example—
- Put the item on the next agenda.
- Suggest an offline conversation.
- Write on a Parking Lot to make clear that the matter will be addressed.
- Set up a 10-minute follow-up discussion with those who are interested in the matter.
- Ask the individual to send a summary of the issue to the group along with a proposal about how to address the matter.
- Remind all participants about the focus of this meeting.
- Cycle back and conclude. After the meeting, make a point to check in with the individual to—
- Find out if there are any other related matters.
- See if they are satisfied with the redirect decision.
- Affirm that the point, question, advice, is good, and you want to hear it. Do this only if, in fact, it is true. Little white lies are still lies.
- If what the individual has raised is not good or appropriate, then seize the opportunity to do a little coaching or mentoring in private.
- Follow through. If you said you’d address the matter at the next meeting, then make sure you do. If you encouraged further discussion offline, then check in and participate.
Finally
Keep in mind that these suggestions are for meeting facilitators and participants. Afterall, leadership is not about title or job description. It’s about influence.